Thursday, October 23, 2003
An incident in one second can change everything. It will affect the way you think, make you think harder. It will affect your emotion, make you cry. It will affect your style of life, force you to change it.
When you find no solution, it will make you depressed. Sometimes you shiver, sometimes you cry. Your breath becomes so heavy. You have no appetite, you have no mood. You want to run but you can’t. If your foundation is weak, it is even worse.
People always say, everything has its solution. I can’t argue that that’s not true but it takes time, uses up a lot of your energy.
Everybody has its own worries, so do I.
When you find no solution, it will make you depressed. Sometimes you shiver, sometimes you cry. Your breath becomes so heavy. You have no appetite, you have no mood. You want to run but you can’t. If your foundation is weak, it is even worse.
People always say, everything has its solution. I can’t argue that that’s not true but it takes time, uses up a lot of your energy.
Everybody has its own worries, so do I.
Wednesday, October 22, 2003
I give up... (very deep and repeated sigh), I give up Lord, forgive my sins, release my burdens. Nothing I can do except pray for Your mercy... (now I am weeping)
Monday, October 20, 2003
What is your priority now? When you are at a college, your priority is to finish your study soon, when you work, it’s to get a better position with better salary. When you are twenty something, it is to study and play but when you are thirty, it is to get married and have a family.
Everything has its priority. I have my priority and I hope you have yours too. Consequently, I will allocate most of my time for my priority. As you and I know, so does everybody, time flies, set up your priorites now or it’ll be too late. Be aware!
Everything has its priority. I have my priority and I hope you have yours too. Consequently, I will allocate most of my time for my priority. As you and I know, so does everybody, time flies, set up your priorites now or it’ll be too late. Be aware!
Friday, October 17, 2003
Could you pretend that everything is ok while it’s not. For sure, I can’t. I am not a good pretender and I don’t like pretending. Pretending uses a lot of my energy and at the end exhausts me, physically and mentally. Don’t push me to pretend, please….
Some people like things black and white with no colour. It means everything must be done exactly as you said. You are not supposed to make teases at all.
I don’t see anything wrong with that attitude. It may be their principle, their belief, their behaviour which we have to appreciate. If yours are different, try to be tolerable. If yours are the same, it is much better, you may be able to make closer relationship.
Just be yourself but try not too strict or too exaggerating. People are all different and that the way it is.
I don’t see anything wrong with that attitude. It may be their principle, their belief, their behaviour which we have to appreciate. If yours are different, try to be tolerable. If yours are the same, it is much better, you may be able to make closer relationship.
Just be yourself but try not too strict or too exaggerating. People are all different and that the way it is.
Thursday, October 16, 2003
You know somebody likes you and let’s say lah that you are not sure whether you share the same feeling, so you go out in a regular basis with him, mostly at lunch time cause it happens that both of you work in the same office. It’s like you are giving him a green light to go ahead.
But if you know that you will not move to later stage of a relationship, will you still give him a green light? Won’t you think that it might hurt him? Or may hurt others also?
You might argue that you are just being nice but please lah. You know what you are doing and know also the consequences.
But if you know that you will not move to later stage of a relationship, will you still give him a green light? Won’t you think that it might hurt him? Or may hurt others also?
You might argue that you are just being nice but please lah. You know what you are doing and know also the consequences.
Sometimes we underestimate the meaning of jealousy. What I am trying to say here is we don’t care enough about others’ feeling. We make somebody jealous and we think we are just being nice but deep inside we know what we do might cause jealousy.
A girl, being free, can go out with any men she wants to and the same applies for a man. That, I can’t object but jealousy is subjective and it’s difficult to say. Although we know jealousy’s not the solution cause it’s possessive but still we feel jealous. That’s the consequence of being a human, weak, weak and weak. Must admit that I am weak.
A girl, being free, can go out with any men she wants to and the same applies for a man. That, I can’t object but jealousy is subjective and it’s difficult to say. Although we know jealousy’s not the solution cause it’s possessive but still we feel jealous. That’s the consequence of being a human, weak, weak and weak. Must admit that I am weak.
What important is what’s in the heart, whether it’s communicated or not, is not important. That’s what I believe and I don’t give a damn of what people think. It’s their right to think positively or on the contrary.
Wednesday, October 15, 2003
Had a chat with an old friend. Now he is married and have a three-year old son.
He told me the story how he first met his wife. One thing I remember most is when he said that he just knew that the girl’s right and from that moment he decided to use every effort, whatever it took, to win her heart. What a determination! I admire it, really…
He told me the story how he first met his wife. One thing I remember most is when he said that he just knew that the girl’s right and from that moment he decided to use every effort, whatever it took, to win her heart. What a determination! I admire it, really…
Tuesday, October 14, 2003
Have you ever forced to do something against your will? May be by your ego, by someone or by a certain situation.
Illustrations:
You are supposed to say hi or make a visit to a friend but then you don’t because you are forced not to do so. Sometimes you don’t even know what force you not to.
Or when you miss a friend ( are we supposed to “miss” a friend?) and you are supposed to make a communication with her / him but instead you don’t. You suppress your feeling, your feeling of love, your feeling of care.
Sometimes, life is complicated, triggered by many conditions. Wish they could be eliminated.
Illustrations:
You are supposed to say hi or make a visit to a friend but then you don’t because you are forced not to do so. Sometimes you don’t even know what force you not to.
Or when you miss a friend ( are we supposed to “miss” a friend?) and you are supposed to make a communication with her / him but instead you don’t. You suppress your feeling, your feeling of love, your feeling of care.
Sometimes, life is complicated, triggered by many conditions. Wish they could be eliminated.
Saturday, October 11, 2003
Walking back home after having dinner, I saw a cat walking with three legs cause its fourth leg is injured. Very pitiful. Can only imagine how hopeless it is. It can’t share nor help itself. At that point of time, I am grateful to God that I am a human.
Sometimes one feel hopeless just like the cat. He can’t share his problems. It’s not that he don’t want to but he just can’t.
Not necessarily actions have reasons nor statements have explanations.
Sometimes one feel hopeless just like the cat. He can’t share his problems. It’s not that he don’t want to but he just can’t.
Not necessarily actions have reasons nor statements have explanations.
Thursday, October 09, 2003
Sometimes, it's just difficult to talk to someone. Don't know what's wrong. Is it all about ego? Probably, most probably her super-ego cause I have been trying to be tolerable.
Losing appetite is a serious problem. Causing others to lose their appetite is even more serious. You don’t wanna do that, seriously. This is the last thing I wanna do. However, a dear friend of mine lost her appetite because she couldn’t stand to talk with me. I don’t know what I’ve done. Anybody out there, what do u think of the conversation below and pls tell me if I’ve done something wrong.
andrehyg (1:15:50 PM): tadi pagi fero called
stellyid (1:19:40 PM): and then?
stellyid (1:19:45 PM): is there something special sampe harus di-mention?
andrehyg (1:20:03 PM): pasti lah
stellyid (1:20:18 PM): which is?
andrehyg (1:20:22 PM): ask her
stellyid (1:20:36 PM): basi
andrehyg (1:20:42 PM):
stellyid (1:20:47 PM): this is exactly your very bad behaviour
stellyid (1:20:57 PM): which is i hate
stellyid (1:21:08 PM): maybe i have to ignore u at all
stellyid (1:21:48 PM): find somebody else who is patient enough to communicate with u
andrehyg (1:22:09 PM): jadi org mesti sabar
stellyid (1:22:38 PM): not upon u
stellyid (1:22:53 PM): sikap elu itu menyebalkan
stellyid (1:22:59 PM): kita tdk perlu sabar dg org yg menyebalkan
stellyid (1:26:53 PM): btw gue kehilangan selera makan malam bareng elu
andrehyg (1:27:07 PM): too bad, sorry
stellyid (1:27:15 PM): sorry juga
andrehyg (1:15:50 PM): tadi pagi fero called
stellyid (1:19:40 PM): and then?
stellyid (1:19:45 PM): is there something special sampe harus di-mention?
andrehyg (1:20:03 PM): pasti lah
stellyid (1:20:18 PM): which is?
andrehyg (1:20:22 PM): ask her
stellyid (1:20:36 PM): basi
andrehyg (1:20:42 PM):
stellyid (1:20:47 PM): this is exactly your very bad behaviour
stellyid (1:20:57 PM): which is i hate
stellyid (1:21:08 PM): maybe i have to ignore u at all
stellyid (1:21:48 PM): find somebody else who is patient enough to communicate with u
andrehyg (1:22:09 PM): jadi org mesti sabar
stellyid (1:22:38 PM): not upon u
stellyid (1:22:53 PM): sikap elu itu menyebalkan
stellyid (1:22:59 PM): kita tdk perlu sabar dg org yg menyebalkan
stellyid (1:26:53 PM): btw gue kehilangan selera makan malam bareng elu
andrehyg (1:27:07 PM): too bad, sorry
stellyid (1:27:15 PM): sorry juga
Wednesday, October 08, 2003
If your presence disturbs others, what'll you do? If the way you talk disturbs others, what'll you do? Worse, if you make someone lose her appetite, what'll you do? You have no choice except to get lost silently :( doesn't matter how much it hurts you (sigh)
Monday, October 06, 2003
On this month’s First Friday Mass, Father Joseph Pontoan, MSC in his speech quoted a poem from a well-known poet, WS Rendra as shown below.
A day before, I read this poem in the internet and when Fr. Pontoan said this poem, I was surprised. What a coincidence!
The poem is wonderful, really…
Sering kali aku berkata, ketika orang memuji milikku,
bahwa sesungguhnya ini hanya titipan,
bahwa mobilku hanya titipanNya,
bahwa rumahku hanya titipanNya,
bahwa hartaku hanya titipanNya,
bahwa putraku hanya titipanNya,
tetapi, mengapa aku tak pernah bertanya, mengapa Dia menitipkan padaku?
Untuk apa Dia menitipkan ini padaku?
Dan kalau bukan milikku, apa yang harus kulakukan untuk milikNya ini?
Adakah aku memiliki hak atas sesuatu yang bukan milikku?
Mengapa hatiku justru terasa berat, ketika titipan itu diminta kembali
olehNya ?
Ketika diminta kembali, kusebut itu sebagai musibah,
kusebut itu sebagai ujian, kusebut itu sebagai petaka,
kusebut dengan panggilan apa saja untuk melukiskan bahwa itu adalah
derita.
Ketika aku berdoa, kuminta titipan yang cocok dengan hawa nafsuku,
aku ingin lebih banyak harta,
ingin lebih banyak mobil,
lebih banyak rumah,
lebih banyak popularitas,
dan kutolak sakit, kutolak kemiskinan,
Seolah semua "derita" adalah hukuman bagiku.
Seolah keadilan dan kasihNya harus berjalan seperti matematika :
aku rajin beribadah, maka selayaknyalah derita menjauh dariku, dan
Nikmat dunia kerap menghampiriku.
Kuperlakukan Dia seolah mitra dagang, dan bukan Kekasih.
Kuminta Dia membalas "perlakuan baikku", dan menolak keputusanNya yang
tak sesuai keinginanku,
Gusti, padahal tiap hari aku ucapkan, hidup dan matiku hanyalah untuk
beribadah...
"ketika langit dan bumi bersatu, bencana dan keberuntungan sama saja"
(WS Rendra)
A day before, I read this poem in the internet and when Fr. Pontoan said this poem, I was surprised. What a coincidence!
The poem is wonderful, really…
Sering kali aku berkata, ketika orang memuji milikku,
bahwa sesungguhnya ini hanya titipan,
bahwa mobilku hanya titipanNya,
bahwa rumahku hanya titipanNya,
bahwa hartaku hanya titipanNya,
bahwa putraku hanya titipanNya,
tetapi, mengapa aku tak pernah bertanya, mengapa Dia menitipkan padaku?
Untuk apa Dia menitipkan ini padaku?
Dan kalau bukan milikku, apa yang harus kulakukan untuk milikNya ini?
Adakah aku memiliki hak atas sesuatu yang bukan milikku?
Mengapa hatiku justru terasa berat, ketika titipan itu diminta kembali
olehNya ?
Ketika diminta kembali, kusebut itu sebagai musibah,
kusebut itu sebagai ujian, kusebut itu sebagai petaka,
kusebut dengan panggilan apa saja untuk melukiskan bahwa itu adalah
derita.
Ketika aku berdoa, kuminta titipan yang cocok dengan hawa nafsuku,
aku ingin lebih banyak harta,
ingin lebih banyak mobil,
lebih banyak rumah,
lebih banyak popularitas,
dan kutolak sakit, kutolak kemiskinan,
Seolah semua "derita" adalah hukuman bagiku.
Seolah keadilan dan kasihNya harus berjalan seperti matematika :
aku rajin beribadah, maka selayaknyalah derita menjauh dariku, dan
Nikmat dunia kerap menghampiriku.
Kuperlakukan Dia seolah mitra dagang, dan bukan Kekasih.
Kuminta Dia membalas "perlakuan baikku", dan menolak keputusanNya yang
tak sesuai keinginanku,
Gusti, padahal tiap hari aku ucapkan, hidup dan matiku hanyalah untuk
beribadah...
"ketika langit dan bumi bersatu, bencana dan keberuntungan sama saja"
(WS Rendra)
Thursday, October 02, 2003
My dearest friend got angry when she found out that I lied to her. It is understandable. I told her that I graduated from Faculty of Letter of Bina Nusantara University whereas it’s Faculty of Computer Science. At that time, I just spilled it out without any intentions. We were talking about writing blogs and being a graduate of faculty of letter seemed perfect at that time. :) I am sorry, really, no hidden intentions. Keep smiling, no uhmmmm, pls :)
Wednesday, October 01, 2003
When I was in Yogya a couple of days ago, after attending a party, one of my friends said “opportunity doesn’t knock twice”. He was in the process of approaching a girl and at that night, he spent a lot of time with the girl taking pictures, talking to the girl’s parents, socializing with her relatives, consequently ignoring us. We left him behind. He had to walk to the hotel. Lucky for him, the hotel is not far :)
For him, opportunity doesn’t knock twice. He had to take the opportunity at the party, ignoring everything, taking any chances, just to be close to the girl and the family.
Coming back to Jakarta, looking back, I kind of agree with his statement that opportunity doesn’t knock twice. Take the opportunity while it’s still there.
For him, opportunity doesn’t knock twice. He had to take the opportunity at the party, ignoring everything, taking any chances, just to be close to the girl and the family.
Coming back to Jakarta, looking back, I kind of agree with his statement that opportunity doesn’t knock twice. Take the opportunity while it’s still there.
